How to Support a Recovering Loved One from Addiction: What to Do—and What Not to Do

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It's frustrating to watch a loved one struggle with addiction. Above all, you want to get them through it and reclaim their life from substance use disorder. But recovery is not a straight line—it is a rollercoaster ride with bumps, successes, and the occasional relapse.

With your patience, understanding, and support, you can play a vital role in your loved one's recovery process.

"Families and friends of recovering addicted people are crucial to their recovery," states Bianca Munce, LPC, CSA, MBA, Riverside Mental Health & Recovery Center Director of Outpatient and Addiction Services. "Without the support and reinforcement at home, it is very difficult for patients to apply the good behaviors they gain in recovery programs."

Not sure where to begin? Here are evidence-based dos and don'ts for supporting a person in recovery from addiction.

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✅ What You Should Do to Support Someone in Recovery

1. Practice Active Listening

Create a safe and honest space for conversation. Invite your loved one to share with you everything they're thinking, fearful of, and getting better about. Even if the conversations are difficult, your willingness to listen to them can be healing.

2. Model Healthy Behavior

If your loved one isn't drinking or drugging, respect that boundary. Don't drink or use around them—and never give it to them. Modeling good behavior works to create a supportive, temptation-free environment.

3. Build New, Healthy Habits Together

Drug use typically usurps normal stress-reducing activities or bad habits. Substitute those habits with healthy ones like:

• Exercising together
• Starting a weekend hobby
• Having a weekly dinner tradition
• Outdoor time or engaging in a creative pursuit

These collective activities promote bonding and support a healthy lifestyle.

4. Be Patient with the Process

Recovery is not usually linear. Relapses are possible, and healing is a process that takes time. Be compassionate during failures and reaffirm your faith in their capability to achieve.

5. Take Care of Yourself

Working with someone who has an addiction can be physically and emotionally taxing. Take care of your own health:

• Establish boundaries when necessary
• Take support for yourself through programs like Families Anonymous or SMART Recovery Family & Friends
• Practice every day self-care routines

You can't pour from an empty cup—your own wellness matters, too.

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❌ What You Shouldn't Do When Supporting a Loved One in Recovery

1. Don't Blame or Shame

Recovering individuals often carry heavy loads of guilt. Mentioning past mistakes can hamper their progress. Instead, focus on appreciation and what they are doing now to improve.

2. Don't Use Judgmental Labels

Judgmental labels like "addict" strip the person of their humanity. Use these sentences instead:

"Someone in recovery"

"A person recovering from substance use disorder"

Words are powerful—using soft words gives dignity and hope.

3. Don't Dismiss Their Capability to Recover

Even if they have relapsed in the past, never take for granted that they will fail again. Show faith in their recovery and potential. Your encouragement may be just what they need to continue. 

4. Don't Nag Them

You might want to check up on them constantly, but nagging can have unintended consequences. Have faith that they know how to make good decisions—and give them some room to breathe.

5. Don't Compare Them to Others

Comments like “Your sister never had this problem” or “You’d be further along in life by now” can crush self-esteem. Instead, celebrate their personal milestones—no matter how small. Every step forward matters.

“Recovering from addiction can be incredibly challenging,” says Bianca Munce. “But when a patient has the support of people who love them, it makes their journey to sobriety much more possible.”

Know Someone Struggling With Addiction?

Support can make all the difference. If your loved one is ready to take that first step toward sobriety, encourage them to call a trusted mental health or addiction recovery professional. Through caring, licensed therapists, counselors, and physicians, they can begin building a healthier, sober tomorrow. 

Help them take that first step—and start the journey to healing together.